I have been dabbling in the world of Swim Bike Yoga for a while now (no, that’s not a real type of yoga… it’s just I tend to put “Swim Bike” before everything. I go to my Swim Bike Job. I drive the Swim Bike Car. It’s pretty Swim Bike Silly, but whatever.)
So anyway, yoga. Yes. And hot yoga at that.
My triathlon training is all over the place. Not because of my new coach, but because I can’t seem to get my act together with completing the very fun, very tri-related workouts.
But for the last few weeks, I’ve been showing up to yoga twice a week, and it’s helping me mentally and physically. I show up, roll out my mat and lay in savasana and try to get myself to calm down and stop worrying about the list of things I have on my plate. My fingers are twitching, I’m sniffling and I’m acting like a jumping bean. But by the end of class, I find that I have learned some things about myself and that often, I walk out of the gym with a full heart and a still mind.
Same was true for today.
Except today, I ended yoga in tears.
The instructor suggested at the beginning of class to:
“Meet yourself where you are. With no judgments, no expectations. Feel where you are, and be here in the moment.”
For so so so so long, I have not recognized the importance of meeting myself where I am. The crucial nature of just being in the moment. To not continuously look down the line at what’s next, what can I accomplish, what can I do.
When I speak with someone, I aim to give them my full attention. But when I am speaking with myself, I am texting and playing on Facebook at the same time, and not giving myself a dialogue that is healthy. I’m like, “Yeah yeah yeah” and click click and “you stink” and “you should be doing more.”
I never meet and accept myself for who I am, right now. Historically, I accept myself only with the caveat of: I will get better.
Why?
Is it not true that I am just damn fine right where I am? Wow. Yes, it is true. In fact, it’s better than fine. I have so much to love and cherish and enjoy—the little things, the big things. My life is crazy, which means if I can let go of constant expectations, mindless goals of perfection, I will likely be incredibly surprised at the fun things in store. I mean, with two kids…there’s always some joy around the corner? [Last night at 2:30am, there was a bedwetting incident. How suprising! How joyful? :)]
I ended yoga in tears as it became clear… exactly what “meet yourself where you are” means to me.
Forgiveness. Tolerance. Humility. Thankfulness. Peace. To stop making myself crazy. To just look, listen and most importantly, breathe. To just be. Most importantly, just be me — the me who is present today. In this moment, in this second. With no expectations.
Much like this one:
Heels, cardigan and grocery store. She’s got it all figured out.
I posted this on Instagram this morning:
Today I am thankful and my heart is full. I am thankful that the Swim Bike Family is finally on a budget. (And that I found a rogue #Starbucks gift card to ease me into said budget.) I am thankful for hot yoga this morning. For my husband. For my kids. For my job. For the SBM Army. My heart is so very full today… and I am working hard on#livinginthemoment with #noexpectations.#justkeepmovingforward#swimbikethankful
In this month of thankfulness and the #SwimBikeThankful Gratitude Challenge, I will continue to challenge myself to live in the moment, to meet myself right where I am, with no judgments and no expectations.
Do you “meet yourself where you are”? Or are you, too, always searching and hoping and clambering for the next thing?
Namaste, my friends.
This post is amazing. So true for me. Wife, lawyer, mother, runner. I’m always thinking ahead. I’m trying to live more in the moment and this post will help. (Although I *do* want to do a sprint tri, but that’s for another day to discuss. 🙂
What a great post. I’m also always texting/reading FB/typing/DOING when I’m with myself. I don’t usually “like” yoga since I can’t get into the headspace you need for it. I should work on that and I’ll probably learn something about myself. Thanks!
truly a reminder we need to hear everyday! I am always looking to see what I can improve instead of acknowledging where I am and how very very far I have come! Thanks for being grateful for us all, and I will continue to also be grateful everyday, for I am really blessed!!
I needed this today. I definitely do not meet myself where I am. In fact, I developed a bit of hip bursitis over the summer and favoring my one side when I run is now causing me knee pain. I go in for xrays tomorrow and all I think about is how this is going to ruin my base building period as I start to think about the fact that I’m signed up for a half marathon, the Rat Snake, and Ironman 70.3 Syracuse for 2014 already. And I’m always so much so looking ahead that I’m already fixating on running either IMLP or IMChatta in 2015.
I think this weekend I will take time to meet myself where I am, give myself 100% me, mental time. Thank you for this post.
This makes me want to cry… thanks for the realization you learned
Thanks again for the exact thing I needed to read today. Thank you!
I had never really thought of this concept before but you are so right! Our society is not exactly big on self-acceptance, usually the message is bigger! better! faster! more! but our lives would all be so much richer and we would all be so much more present if we met ourselves where we are. Love it and going to start practicing it today (once I finish up on Facebook!) Thank you!
Thank you. I needed that.
hmm, this is a hard one for me. making me think..i’m constantly on a quest to become skinnier, fitter, and challenging myself with doing more. maybe i don’t like myself very much as i am..maybe i’m afraid to ‘just be’ and that i’ll slide back into the couch potato ways and gain weight – something i have faught over and over and over again as the years tick by. i definitely feel better about myself when i’m working at something ..but is it a quest that will never be achieved? will i ever be good enough? hmm.. thought provoking. great post! i too love hot yoga and am generally happier when i get to a couple classes a week. hot yoga cures all.
I really connect to this article. I am a triathlete (sprints, nothing longer… and that’s OK!) who discovered yoga about a year ago. I too enter the room clunky and loud and like a reese’s monkey. But leave every time with a new relaxation not experienced yet in that day. I am proud of you and reading your blog always warms my heart. You share imperfections, yet love yourself with them. It’s healthy and motivating, and I’m glad you take time to blog.
I love sharing your growth. I have alway felt that if we don’t learn (or grow) something new each day we aren’t paying attention. You are always a reminder. Go you.
wow…..spot on meredith for all of us, not just you!!
what you are able to put into words, most of us can’t………and that is why you have an army 🙂
I too burst into tears when the instructor on the yoga DVD I was doing for the first time said, “Self acceptance is the highest practice in yoga” For about 10 seconds, I got it, and I can sometimes almost recapture it if I work at it.
Thank you for being you. Love these posts. You are the best.
Beautiful.