Now that the aftermath of Florida 70.3 has died down, and the horrendous blisters on my feet are starting to dry up (lucky you, you wanted to know that), I am faced with on the semi post-race crabbies. But it’s not that bad. I actually feel really good (with the exception of the nasty cold I have.)
I think I am only semi-crabby is because I had SO much going on leading up to the race …that I literally felt like I was running to the swim start with a moving box on my back, making a sandwich for the kids’ lunches, and changing my address with the post office. “Hey, I’ll be right back… gotta do a 70.3, and then I’ll be right back!”
Life was CRAZY for us for the past three weeks.
The good news: we are settled in to the new house. There are boxes still, but we’re getting there. The neighbors are definitely not assholes – they are actually very, very nice and I even sniffed out a triathlete. The Swim Bike Kiddos both dropped their training wheels within the first two days of being there. We are commuting crazy miles as the kids finish up schools in a different place, but it’s working out alright.
Everything is heading in a settled direction… my heart may never settle down, but at least I am, on paper, settling.
Before I cover “what’s next” in Swim Bike Mom land…
I have a SERIOUS rant to address.
So as a blogger and author, I get lots of hate mail and comments, and the like. I am over it. I really don’t care any more. I am rubber and you are glue, and interestingly, I have been able to really just get over the initial “hurt” that used to happen from hateful people. I truly don’t care. Now, I focus on all the LOVE and folks who love my mission, and ignore the others.
Anyway, I was reading this post on another blog today (You Signed Up For What), and I came across a comment that FLOORED me. You can read the post here, but basically, the writer was setting out a list of goals for fitness, which included a running goal of a sub-2:00 half marathon and bilateral (both sides) breathing on the swim. [Awesome goals, by the way.]
And I scroll down to make a comment, “Nice goals” or something like that, and I see THIS comment from someone else:
The Comment:
“I’ve already met those fitness goals. I wouldn’t have even thought about running a half marathon if I couldn’t’ go under 1:45 or enter a 70.3 if I didn’t know how to bilateral breathe….
Maybe I should write more on my blog. Nah.
Not important stuff for me anyway.”
What in the holy hell is THAT crap?
I think my head exploded.
So I wrote a response, and I had to share it here, because it is people like this woman who TURN OFF people from this sport and from fitness in general. Elitist bullshit crap that keeps people from getting off the couch for the FEAR that they can’t run a sub-2:00 10k, let alone half marathon.
My comment:
“Wow… to [the] comment above?..What kind of elitist crap comment is that… I’m sorry, but how do you think this comment is productive? I mean, it’s clearly, rude as a starting point. if you can’t go under 1:45 on a half marathon you shouldn’t run? WTF! This sport has room for people of all times and sizes and goals and abilities. Finishing four half Ironmans and a FULL Ironman, I am proud of my accomplishments, and I may NEVER go under 1:45 on the run.
…one of your goals should be to be kind and considerate of other people who are digging deep and making their dreams happen. People like you turn away good people from the sport. You should be embarrassed.”
I know everything is fair game in blog land. I get it. I just seriously lose my mind when I see someone commenting on someone else’s dreams, and stepping on them like they are garbage. SCREW YOU!
No one has the right to step on your dreams!
To that end, we can’t always fight battles with idiots. So, I guess I am just posting this as encouragement …when someone DOES step on your dreams, let it run off your back. Just keep moving forward and make your dreams happen.
The best revenge is meeting your goals.
I talk about it all the time—how as beginners or newbies or slow, chubby folks like me—how we have to be mentally tough in this sport. Have exceptional resolve. So do it. Be strong and let the idiots run loose and make fools of themselves. Fast running fools, maybe. But fools.
Remember that YOUR goals are YOURS. It’s never “just a sprint” or “just a 5k” – it’s awesome. And own it!
End of rant.
So what’s next in SBM land?
Now that I feel like life is at least in a place of stability (ha):
- I am about to make a major change at my job—one way or another, it will be a major change. (Can’t say much more than that right now). But changes are a coming.
- I am hoping to get back on writing the next book, 140.6 for the Every Woman, which was put on hold over the winter.
- Coach Brett and I are working out some details for an Atlanta-based beginner triathlete one day camp this summer, with plans to expand this to potentially TWO weekend camps next year—one East coast, one West coast, and one in a tropical location (at least that’s MY plan!)
- Swim Bike Sell is launching NEW SBM gear in the next few days: bags, necklaces, round three tri kit orders, tech tanks and towels (stay tuned)!
The Expert is volunteering for IM Chattanooga this year, which means 2015 will be his Ironman year (so I am bracing for that)- Lots of short course races planned on the Race Tour…. AND, I am seriously considering adding on Beach 2 Battleship 70.3 in October. Kind of need a redemption race.
Thanks to you all for your huge support. I am humbled and thankful EVERY day I get to be a part of this wonderful sport and community.
Great post! As someone who is very new to this world (so new that I haven’t done my first tri–my goal is to get some running under my belt as that is my weakest piece and hopefully celebrate my 40th bday next year with a sprint length tri) one of the things that is keeping/kept me away is absolutely the intimidation factor! Thanks for sticking up for us and leading the way. (Also a mom, attorney, and hopefully soon to be triathlete!)
Rock on, SBM. I’d like to piggyback a rant: Triathletes/Ironpersons who wear t-shirts/affix bumperstickers/post pictures with the message, “Oh, you ran a marathon? That’s cute.” No, that’s F-ing awesome. You met your goal of running a 5k? You killed it. First sprint triathlon? Congrats on doing better than 95% (note: statistic pulled out of my @ss) of the population of this country. I hate seeing that message – it’s what makes people think that triathletes/triathlon is intimidating, when the vast majority of us are super encouraging and helpful, like you. 🙂
I LOVE that you commented on that comment. One thing that I do really appreciate about this sport is that it DOES allow for all different shapes, sizes, and ages to participate. And really, we each have our own race. I’m with ya, sister…I’m probably never going to do a 1:45 half marathon…but the fact that I get up and try hard every time is what’s important. Heck, I didn’t even start doing triathlon until I was 40 – and now 7 years later I still find there is so much room for growth. And that’s what I love about it. And really – anyone who can finish a 70.3 or a 140.6 has serious bragging rights…no matter the time. It’s so much more of a mental sport at that point anyway, and clearly the commenter doesn’t have the mental chops that you do. As always, thanks for sharing and keeping it real! 🙂
Awesome! You seriously rock! I got a nasty comment from the same woman a week or two ago on my blog and I was completely floored by how crass and mean someone can be about someone else’s goals. That kind of pretentious crap makes me seethe. Bravo to you for stepping up in Cynthia’s defense.
Damn Right on your reply post! You show great compassion and class in your direction of athletes at all levels. Thank you for setting the record straight and for continually encouraging athletes to do it to better yourself!
Amen sistah! So spot on. It’s great advice to the beginners to not let these elitists get in your head while you’re training for a race. Right before I did my first Ironman when I was really nervous about the swim I started reading forums where gals/guys were saying you had to do 10k-12k yards a week minimum to be confident in completing the swim which I had never done. It really rattled me until I finally shook some sense into myself and just went out and did it.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt said that (I think) and it’s a good thought. I’m trying to keep it in mind for tomorrow when I head out for my longest swim evah and there will be hundreds of people who will be faster than me. hundreds. But that’s okay.
Thanks, Meredith, for your support and also for all the encouragement to those of us who think or thought “can *I* really DO that”? Your blog and book inspired me to chase my dream of doing a triathlon, a dream I had had for years but needed to really go for it. Seeing another working mom tackle it gave me inspiration! We’re all at different levels of fitness and experience, and one year ago when I said “OMG I’m going to do a triathlon”, I never though I’d be signing up for my first 70.3 a year later. I am all about positive support – I love hearing of people starting to run, training for their first 5K, doing their first triathlon – any goal you have is a worthy goal.
I’m so shy…. I would have written something like, “If you can’t say anything nice, you probably shouldn’t say anything at all.” AND then erased it and moved on for fear of….what? I don’t know. CLEARLY this person is SOOOOO much better than all of us that the back and middle of the packers just congest the races in which he or she probably always win. You are so right… he or she made me hide in my house for years, unwilling to even try (or TRI!) and I will no longer let him or her win. I will proudly be dead last or whatever. At least I’m out there running my 2:15 or 2:45 or 3 hour 1/2 mary and just finishing my HIM. I have no time goals for my first 70.3. I just want to get to the finish line without drowning, crashing, or bonking. 🙂 And I’ll do it one SLOW step at a time.
Thank you Swim-Bike-Mom for the rant!
I too had someone say, “Well it’s no big deal to have completed 4 – 70.3 races when you take so long to finish. Now what really hurt about those comments is that they were from people (who I thought were my friends) and have NEVER done a 70.3 race BUT boast how much FASTER they are than me!
I try to pretend that it does not hurt my feelings but it does. My sweet husband reminds me that it is just their way of justifying why they really don’t want to put in the time to train. They may be able to swim-bike and run faster but they lack the thing we all have – the ability to dig deep and go for it!
I may be curvy and slower than they are but I feel proud that at 49 (mother, wife and non-profit executive director) I can still dream BIG and finish with a tremendous feeling of accomplishment!
It was so wonderful to meet you and James at IM Florida 70.3! Keep up the good work!
Fondly,
Cynthia
The nerve of that lady to dis someone one their blog. She doesn’t have to read it much less comment. Haters will hate! I don’t know how to swim but we have a triathlon that allow water walking for the fitness competition. There’s also a competitive day for the swimmers. Last year I was quicker in the pool than someone who chose to swim on the fitness day. She came up to me and said “I can’t believe you walked that in 9 min.” I was all bubbly and said replied “I’m speedy!” Well, she come’s back with “Walking shouldn’t be allowed.” I informed her the fitness division allowed it (she was aware) and asked why she didn’t sign up on the competitive day. She said her schedule didn’t allow it. I placed first that day and her fourth. What I REALLY wanted to say that walking shouldn’t be allowed on the run portion either then, huh? Cause I know she walks some. I was quicker in the pool, bike , run and transitions than her but she wanted to blame the swim/ walk on why I beat her. Can’t wait to see what day she shows up for this year! HA.
Do Beach to Battleship! It will be my first 70.3 and maybe we can meet for some long bike rides or swims!
Thank you for this! Individuals that feel the need to throw around some else’s goals and dreams like they are meaningless usually do so because of their own unhappiness. I kinda feel sorry for this gal and would love to give her a totally different set of goals to focus on! You rock, Mer!
Thank you again for your amazing words. I’m training for my first 1/2 ironman and am doing five century rides this summer to boot. Everyone I tell thinks I’m crazy. I’ve been told to find a more “age appropriate” hobby. (I’ll be 45 on Monday) I’m approximately 30 pounds overweight (but losing!).
I am grateful that there are bloggers who are showing me it can be done – so when I get discouraged, I have someone to look to other than the “haters”.
well said and I love you represent us!!! I love what I do, and I always have a doubt in the back of my mind that the elite look at us and frown upon us! I am ready to be proud and hold my head up high and achieve my goals. I am swimming (for the first time, a mile in the bay with a wetsuit (first time), and then bike 20! Doing it with my husband, who is not the strongest swimmer, so kudos to us! Thanks again for the wonderful words of encouragement, and thanks for sticking up for the little folks!
Kathy
You. Are. Awesome. Don’t ever stop your passion. For the person that posted that comment that got your passion in overdrive, Better to keep your mouth shut and let everybody wonder if you are an idiot instead of speaking and confirming that you are. I am doing my first half IM in Augusta this September. I am training for it, I am doing it, and I am finishing it. Who the hell knows how I will do, especially in the run, oh, the run, run run, just makes me nauseated thinking about it, but no matter how slow pokey I am, I will just do my best. My best includes supporting everyone else no matter what level, size, shape, color, and ability. It’s what I receive and I honor giving that back.
I sense troll, because her race results aren’t that great.
http://storage.athlinks.com/racer/results/18481666
Yes, I looked up her race results.
Just out of curiosity I decided to look up little ol Cheryl Palen (the commenter on the other blog) on Athlinks….seems the only two half marathons on her list were run in a 2:42 and a 2:37…hmmm. Being a cyber bully is so easy but so is finding out that your full of BS!! I’m not fast, but I love what I do…would I love to run a half in under 2:00..hopefully someday but for now, I’m HAPPY that I can get out there and RUN! We need to support each other not be elitist cyber bullies! Great job Meredith!
Firstly well done on keeping you head above water with so much change going on in your life. I too have just had my life turned upside with leaving my job to be a SAHM (while I wait for my green card) moving countries to follow my husband home (to the US obviously) and training for Eagleman 70.3 in June. I find that the training is what keeps me sane and balanced when everything else is in chaos.
I love the honestly of your blogs and I am always glad when I see someone “call” a nasty person out in the virtual world. I think they are the kind of poeple that would never say a word to someones face – but use the autonomy and safeness of the internet to attack other people (it’s usually really about their own insecurities and issues).
I love this sport – it saved my life in many ways. Bought me back to myself, let me find my passion, gives me balance and is cheaper than therapy. I have met the best people through triathlon, of all backgrounds, shapes, sizes, ages and abilities. It’s a very individual sport in many ways – so at the end of the day, times and paces mean nothing on race day – being present, enjoying the challenging and feeling proud to be out their are all that counts.
Fit Chicks Tri
Well said! I completely agree. Did my first sprint trathalon w/ 3 buddies last year and other women (especially middle aged ones like us, one friend is 61, yes I call her middle aged) were so very kind, encouraging and helpful. We ended up doing 3 sprints and 1 olympic and are back at it again this year. Love the support!
Good for you for saying something! You have to wonder what kind of person would take the time to leave a comment like that. What’s the point? It’s like the old saying from Bambi….if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Of my version…If you don’t have something nice to say then STFU!
Speak it sista! People who make comments like that seriously chap my a**. Why would someone make a comment like that? To make yourself feel superior by shitting on someone else? Does that person not understand how much better the world would be if we spent our efforts supporting each other instead of tearing each other down? Aaargghhh! Thanks for speaking up!
I just flashed to a Pinterest pin I read recently “A 14 minute mile is the same length as a 8 minute mile” So true! Every body has their own trials & struggles & who are we to say they should be “faster, better”? I know we all want to improve on what we do – but improvement is individual 🙂
I so enjoy your blog & thank you for spending the time to share with all of us!
You are truly amazing and I loved reading this blog post. I have felt discouraged plenty of times but it’s the people who believe in me and myself that change those negative thoughts into positive actions.
Thank you SBM <3 Keep moving forward and being AWESOME!
Ooooh, you MUST do B2B. I already registered, and it will be my first 70.3. Would love to be able to say that I finished the same race as THE SBM!
Sweet article!
1. The haters usual don’t even do triathlons and possibly don’t even do ANYTHING. I had a runner friend say, “Hey, I saw you and you were ‘jogging’ not ‘running.'” And I replied, “Well you saw me at mile 15. Some of us go further than you…”
2. I always tell my faster friends, “Dollar per minute, I’m the real winner.”
3. People indeed say more things on the internet than they would in person.
4. I wouldn’t even waste my time addressing people who have negative comments. Like Ron White says, “You can’t fix stupid.”
5. I’ve been guilty recently using the “it was only a sprint.” However, it was directed at myself because it was quite embarrassing to struggle with the sprint race after having completed a full iron in September. That’s what I got for taking so much time off from the pool.
6. Triathlon is an individual sport. We compete alone, therefore, it shouldn’t matter what others think.
Love the article, Girl!
Damn girl…….you are a rockstar in my book and so is every single person in the world that does this sport!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That writer suffers from some poor self-concept issues. And, those issues are hers (or his). Not ours. I have found that the ones most fun and most encouraging are those of us in the middle to back of the pack (or in my case..back-back pack!)
screw the nay-sayers. If you’re out there moving, you rock. PERIOD.
I see it in my non-tri, non-bike, non-run friends. “YOU did WHAT this weekend? I would die running to the mail box.” I get it from my kids(I have a swim-bike-teen who did his first tri last summer), I get it from my EX(!!)
Folks, Eff the nay sayers. SOMEONE is looking to you as an inspiration no matter how fast or slow you go, no matter how new you are to the sport. When I started posting my workouts on facebook two years ago, people started taking notice. Then a year later, I started getting emails from friends who had watched me go from a smoker/couch potato to triathlete and serious runner and biker. I am not fast! I win if the chips are in my favor but I am out there having fun and loving what I do. Because of that a lot of people have started running, have started biking, have started TRIATHLON. Every single person who starts this journey is someone else’s inspiration. Remember that and forget the rest.
Love and hugs from your Memphian turned West Coast SWM, Mere! Keep on Keeping on!
I don’t mean to add any kind of deadline pressure to your writing or anything, but you know I’m kicking off training for IMAZ in mid-June, right? And that I’m going to need a training bible to read for tips and inspiration, right? That means you have about 8 weeks to hammer out the Swim Bike IronMom book so I can get maximum value from my dollar 🙂
(Also, I think I need one of those shirts… 🙂 )
Cynthia is my girl (and one of my co-hosts for our Friday Five linkups — from which the post came from) and I was so glad to see your response. In fact, when I saw that comment, my first reaction was WTF?! I just truly don’t understand the need to be rude or snarky. And her defense was total crap. Some folks never grasped the point that not every single thing you think needs to be spoken (written) aloud. Sigh. Anyway, thanks for weighing in!
I found this through a friend on FB. I’m here to tell you that I’m almost in tears as I can so relate to being someone who wouldn’t try had it not been for the encouraging, wonderful people I’ve met (and those that I haven’t ACTUALLY met). My first half was 2:51:30 and I walked the last 3 miles (99% of it) due to knee pain which we now know is a torn meniscus.
THAT ASS who wrote that is just that … I am so grateful for everything that everyone has done to encourage me, teach me, FIX me, motivate me through 2 years of running. It hasn’t been an easy 2 years at all as “something” is always wrong.
THANK YOU for setting this person straight for those of us who would SO EASILY be turned off and wouldn’t do another lick of anything.
YES! And again YES! Just yesterday a guy I work with (and Ironman) told me he was not going to do his Ironman, and maybe not his 70.3 because he was sure he would have a time that he would embarrassed to say outloud and wouldn’t place in the AG…so what was the point. He then proceeded to tell me that he thought it was “aggressive” of me to take on my first 70.3 this summer without knowing a) how long I have been training or b) what my goals are. I felt knocked over, he had been someone who I got good advice from for my first tri and what he said was hurtful. I am over it today and confident in my training and my own, personal goals. I often run into such supportive people in this sport so for him to say that was shocking. I, of course, wish I had a witty retort but alas I did not. Now I just glare at him passive aggressively and use his a**hole comments to fuel me.
I’m continually disgusted at the things people will say anonymously/semi-anonymously online to other people. Way to address one of the idiots! I find that the jackasses of the world are also the most personnaly insecure and so always keep in mind that anything they’re saying to bash you they probably also tell themselves 10 times a day in harsher tones. I’m looking so forward to your next book. Maybe it will be out in time to use when I’m ready to step up to the full distance. 🙂
You are seriously awesome!!! Thank you for helping so many people!!!
I once heard “The Penguin”, who write for Runner’s World, tell of a panel he was on with some elite runners. In discussing times he divulged that he was about a 5:30 marathoner. A comment from an elite runner is what I hang onto. His comment was “you can really keep your body moving that long? That is amazing!”. It put into perspective that with an IM finish time of just over 15 hours I accomplished something amazing by keeping my body in motion that long. All of us slower athletes need to remember that we have to push our bodies longer than any elitist snob! We do amazing things.
This make me feel like I’m in middle school again. Sheesh! A triathlon is intimidating enough as it is and comments like that make it so much worse! AHHHH! Makes my blood boil. But, thanks to AWESOME people like you, we’re welcoming lots of new triathletes to our beloved sport! YEAH!!!! Come oooooon future triathletes… be brave! Also, you can set up your transition spot next to us!
SBM, I never reply to posts, but I have to share this story. Last month after I finished an indoor Tri (writing from Minnesota here), I was talking to one of the trainers. He told me that he had been working on of the previous Tri’s and there was a woman who finished her first Tri and was crying. Easy to assume she was happy, relieved, emotional. But no, she was angry. Why was she angry? She was angry at all the people throughout her life who had told her she could not do anything like this. Wow, now that is pain.
Meredith, I really feel a kindred spirit to you. You are definitely a fighter and protector of Good!
I have been an athlete my entire life , triathlons for over a decade, but this year is my first IM year. I had my last baby two years ago and I found your blog and watched you triumph in CDA and you definitely inspired me! I started my own blog , as I practice medicine, have a degree in exercise physiology as well, and thought my journey would help others. I think I mostly blog for my own journaling. anyway, I am doing IM CDA June 29th, and IM AZ November 16. I enjoy your stuff! Keep it up, I have even shopped at swim bike sell . triathlon is a lifestyle, and there is no room for negativity, we should all go Rainbow Bright on that dumb woman’s ass!
Thanks for this article. I’m one of those slow folks – I grew up in the Deep South pre-Title IX, and really, girls didn’t do a lot of sports. Not until my 30s did I find that I loved sports – running, that is. I’ve run 3 halfs, and honestly, hitting 2.5hrs is probably my goal. I’ve never run into anyone who has been rude to me, and that’s lucky. I’ve met so many other athletes such as you and Cynthia, who have been encouraging. The community is part of what keeps me going – other women racing, meeting up to celebrate PRs and finishing, and going on runs together. I don’t know why anyone feels it’s necessary to tear anyone down.
This post was perfectly timed, thank you!! I am doing St Anthony’s next weekend as my first Olympic, and even though I’ve been training for months, these “elitist” athletes have been making me feel like I’m not ready… and even worse, that it was a mistake to sign up in the first place, that I don’t belong. I’m slow and my bike is 15 years old, so therefore I shouldn’t even try. What?? I know I’m not going to win any prizes, but this journey is about finishing a distance in a sport I never thought would be possible for me! So thank you for reminding me that I’m not racing for anyone else but myself! (As long as I don’t drown during the swim lol) I will finish and that’s all that matters!
Congrats to swim bike kids, now on two wheels! Huge milestone.
It takes all types of people in this world doesn’t it and to think that someone premeditates harms to someone else is awful. Like dashing dreams in the first degree. I am a blogger like many others who read your blog Meredith and most of us do it to journal the journey. It is however a bit of a public diary with some feelings and goals that are deep. Negative comments need to be expected I suppose because there just isn’t all nice people in this world. What is really great is that we are a bunch of blogging friends that can support each other and emphasize that the troubled individuals who cannot keep their negativity to themselves are WRONG. It is great to identify these individuals. They should be held accountable.
Hi all…just found out that I was hacked and I didn’t leave the comments-whatever they were. I never saw them. Sorry about that. I am just learning about internet/blog/facebook stuff so I guess I need to put some securities on my site. My FB page has been hacked before-I found out who it was and they are “banned” from FB now I guess. Again my apologies!
Seriously??!?!?! Ser-i-ous-ly. Give me a break.