Meredith: The Fat Shamer

Before I get into the visit I took into Crazy Town yesterday, I have to mention this. I don’t know if I wrote about the awesome fact that I killed  20 mile training run last week.

TWENTY MILES, people.  And yes, I am TOTALLY bragging about it OPENLY because if y’all know me… this is a huge milestone and happy deal.

I had to go to ART Therapy – so I did 15 miles outside, went to therapy, then finished up 5 on the treadmill.  Tomorrow, I will do the whole 20 miles together.

But you know what?  Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. I could have stopped at 15 (I mean, hell, that’s good enough, yes?)  But I wanted that 20. It’s all about the doing that matters.

Doing is what makes goals happen.  Not talking, yapping and running your mouth. And I get to DO it again tomorrow. (Yes!)

Lawd, I am loving marathon training.  #WhoKnew

Marine Corps Marathon is in 5 weeks, and I am a wheelchair pusher for my pal, Logan, raising money for the amazing Kyle Pease Foundation.  We are going to have such a great day together.

My foot is still weird-–BUT not when I run or cycle.

So I am totally not injured per se, I just have WF (Weird Foot).  Doc has pretty much decided I am dealing with some standard tendinitis, so I’m doing all the care for that.  Onward. I am so thankful it’s a workable situation. I got big things to do, dudes.

I had an interesting occurrence that happened yesterday.

To the loyal readers of this blog, it’s been no mystery that I have had a rough five or so months.

To many of you who know what actually happened, you also know that I am like a freaking cat–and I have landed on my feet. (Maybe THAT is my WF issue? Weird Foot is caused my landing on one’s feet and then running for the stars, yo.)

Regardless, life is good and even better than it was five months ago.

In recent months, I never cease to find gratitude in everything–and I can tell you that I am grateful for the hard lessons I have learned, and the way to now deal with people who are snakes–because have mercy, they have made me stronger, smarter, faster, harder, and I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time.  (Always good to put Kanye West and Taylor Swift in one sentence, yes? I thought so, too.)

Last night, I got tagged in a post from someone on Facebook. I won’t name her, because she doesn’t deserve a second in ANY spotlight, no matter how small mine may be.

Basically, she called me a fat-shamer because of my email from Optimal Thrive, for promoting it, for apparently bettering myself through health and nutrition, and for sharing something that has worked wonders with me, my life and my body image.

I first looked up her interaction with the email that she received.

First, she claimed that I put her on a mailing list out of nowhere. Turns out she downloaded my FREE Book and agreed to receive communications, AND this was after she bought a tri kit and agreed to receive communications.  Good news for my email client. #NotASpammer.  Then, she clicked on and opened the email no less than NINE times. I am not sure I have ever done that. [Except maybe IRONMAN race details.]

Regardless, before I responded to her crass post, I wanted to turn the mirror on myself.

And ask myself the right questions.

I wondered… if I was a fat shamer.

What. The. Fritos. 

Are you kidding me…

But to be sure, I went and looked at the pages on Optimal Thrive.  Nope, no fat-shaming there. Not even really a mention of weight loss, except my stubborn 7 pounds and this:  [Before Optimal Thrive,] I still was not where I wanted to be in terms of goals in health, weight, wellness and whole health mastery.

Oh wait, I mentioned “weight.”
Shame on me. Freaking fat-shamer.

Then I thought, “What a minute! I weigh 198 pounds.
Can a ‘fat girl’ by the world’s standards actually be a fat shamer?”

Then someone posted that I was “thin privileged,” and I swear to you, I laughed so hard.
Wait, this ‘fat girl’ now not ‘fat enough’?

But then I got stunned. Wait another minute!? Did someone just accuse me of being THIN? (I scribbled the exact date and time in my journal. Record day, y’all.  Announcement: Swim Bike Mom is thin.)

Regardless of that stupidity, then I got MAD.

And many of you saw this post on Instagram, and came out in droves to say some of the kindest things (thank you), so I won’t repost it here. You can go look if you want.

BUT.

I realized a few things over the last months and last night… that the true meaning of “you do you,” is really major.  And it’s hard. Oh have mercy, is it hard. That you cannot make anyone happy, that people will be jealous of anything from A to Z, bitter and sad wenches and their hate/issues has nothing to do with you.

When she tagged me on Facebook, I responded… because she was lying.  She was hateful. She was spreading discord, hate, bitterness and hopelessness.  Her message of “activism” is actually one of dire dread and hopelessness.

That made me MADDER.

I get that a lot of people don’t like me. That doesn’t even make me mad anymore. I don’t expect everyone to like me. But if you don’t like me, then at least tell the truth about me.  Be fair and equitable in your analysis and hatred. #LawyerSpeak

But I can’t stand when people mislead others through a message of hopelessness.

It should be criminal.

If I had come at my life 7 years ago with a sense of this person’s hopelessness, her “activism”, there is no telling where I would be.

Actually, I can tell you where I would be. I’d be dead of alcoholism or suicide (or a combo of both), that’s where.  Not a doubt in my mind.

If I had taken the stance of this “activist” and decided I wasn’t worth getting better and wanting to better myself [by MY own defined terms, not society’s] …I would be dead. I would have motherless and messed up children.  And that might be the best case scenario.

I stood up for myself in her rage because it was bullshit.

Regardless about my ego, I can tell you one thing:  You don’t get to use a platform to LIE to people about HOPE. You don’t get to lie about being an activist, taking donations from people to support those lies, and then expect people who DO work hard, tell the truth and live the truth to not say anything.

I don’t sit back and watch this kind of behavior.

You actually shouldn’t call yourself an activist (“a person who campaigns to bring about political or social change”) when you are promoting change driven by hatred towards other women. Especially women who desire and work every day towards making a positive impact in the world.

I AM HERE, I said.  You don’t get to lie about ME or my people.

So I said my peace, unfollowed the post, and slept like a baby while she apparently continued to rage on about me, unbeknownst to me.

This morning I woke up SO grateful to this bitter woman who posted on Facebook.

Why?

Because even though she deleted her thread when the truth came out, so many people came over to check out my site and Facebook page to see what she was raging about… NEW people.

New people who had been under her negative, no-hope umbrella were greeted with my free full-length book, a giveaway, and motivational words like:
be who you are…
you can do this…
do it in the body you have now…
here’s what I do and how I have done it in MY body, and
here’s your tribe.

When someone who is full of hate and vitriol sends people to MY world—a world full of words of encouragement, honesty, helpful avenues to reach your triathlon goals, positive guests and more…

I am thankful.

So thank you, oh bitter sad angry woman for sending hordes of your readers to me.

I will take good care of them. I will love them. I will give them words of happiness and hope. I hope they know they have a whole world and community of people ready to lift them up with positive words, not tear them down with hate, bitterness and defeatism.

In summary:

• Body positive activism is not hate for the rest of the world who are sized differently.
• Body positive does not mean hatred, judgment or bitterness towards the choices of others.
• And also, Ironman also does not train for itself.  It’s hard work that requires dedication beyond one’s wildest dreams.

I know, without a doubt that I can, and this community of wonderful people can and will accept your readers with open arms and show them the power of positivity, support and taking care of our bodies in the ways that suit each of us as individuals, while accepting the choices of others.

/Amen.

#JustKeepMovingForward